You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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