"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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