You just made me feel so damn special
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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