Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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