just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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