Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
