Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize