it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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