Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
