that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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