I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
