seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
