i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
