do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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