my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
