so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
