Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize