Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize