Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
