His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
