We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
