You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need moral support for this bender
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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