Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
