note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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