I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
