He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
