But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
