Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
