do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
