I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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