Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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