Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Barsexuality is the new black.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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