Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
