Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
