I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
