just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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