Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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