Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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