..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize