I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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