Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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