I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
