Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did I show you my penis last night?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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