how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
