ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
