i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
