I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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