Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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