one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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