the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
