I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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