omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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