i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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