I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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