So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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