Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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