i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
