the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Let's get the cat blown out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
