It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
