HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
