Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
how drunk are you?
Several
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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