omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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